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The Flow

Who is she?

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There’s been a lot of selfies lately, for two reasons. Partly because it’s mastermind homework, but also because of the mental transformation I’m undergoing. I’m learning to look at myself and see who it is, in that picture. What does she mean, and what does she want? What’s her story? What is she feeling?

Sharing thoughts through Instagram has helped me cope with my anxiety very well. I just told my coach yesterday that I haven’t had “real” anxiety since January 30th. My thoughts and feelings are slowly moving in the right direction. First towards sadness and emptiness. Now to anger and frustration. But that I can work with. I’m starting to feel an interest again, a will to DO and create. That’s invaluable to me.

I never wanted to admit it, but I think I really was spent. Because what else is there, when you can’t even bother to make yourself food, get sleep or read emails/texts, open letters, pay bills or care about your life in general?

I do think all that has been necessary. I’m going through a process, with stages that all need to be passed before I can level up. I will level up.

It’s just that I need to get to know this new, emerging woman to be able to get to the next level. She has many wants and desires that she hasn’t yet put into words, because she can’t. But I’ll be there, and I’ll write the words. I’ll say the words. And I’ll become her.