If you do not find a way, no one will

If you do not find a way, no one will

I read something yesterday that made me think about how to get out of anxiety and depression. I’ve had anxiety for years, but somehow managed to break free about six weeks ago. I’m not saying I’m completely out of it, I’m sure it could come back. But it’s been absent, and I haven’t missed it.

I chose to be free of it. 

I did have some help however. I think that’s needed a lot of the times, when we can’t really motivate us to do it for ourselves.

Why do we get anxious and depressed in the first place? (How long is a string?)

I believe there are a million reasons and circumstances that can land us in either of these barren wastelands. But I also believe that a lot of the reasons are founded in expectations, that can be slightly unrealistic, without us not even realizing it ourselves.

We have expectations on ourselves, our friends and family, our job and home environment, and much more. We don’t mean to, but they are there. And highest of all are usually the expectations of the self. Oh, how marvellous you must be to be worthy. Worthy of love, happiness and peace. The problem is that the expectations are set way to high a lot of the times, which leads us to feel like we failed. 

Failure is bad. Which must surely mean you are bad. You should probably feel guilty. Maybe add some shame to that while you’re at it. And don’t tell anyone, they don’t want to hear your stupid story. 

We dug a dark pit, and now we’re stuck in that mud. But whose responsibility is it to get us out of there? 

You know I’m going to say it’s you. I am, but I know that it’s crazy difficult. Because when you’re in the pit you can’t see the all the beautiful things that reside outside of the pit. There’s only darkness, and no real reason to keep going. So you stay.

But sometimes, all it takes is for us to see a hand reaching down from the edge. Something to hold on to. Something to keep fighting for. You can hold the hand, but the hand won’t be able to do the climb with you. YOU must do it. 

You need to take responsibility for you. Even the smallest step forward is a positive step! Just don’t let go of that hand. 

One huge part of taking responsibility of the self, is to know the self. A lot of people have no idea who they are. They don’t actually know their deepest desires. They don’t know their fears. And nothing in between either.

But tell me, if you don’t know what you want or need, how can you teach/tell anyone how to get you out of your funk? If you don’t know the recipe, how will you be able to first change your own behavior? And then, how can you communicate this to a friend, family member or partner?

I you don’t know what you need to feel better, then it will be very hard for someone else to guess. When you know, you can let others know. And then, they can help you.